My Short Story

My parents named me Jeff and I was born in 1981 in Whittier, California, now across the street from a Home Depot. I would have loved to have been born IN the Home Depot, which would have made for an exciting story and an even more exciting film adaptation.
map Whittier Home Depot

I have worn clothing for as long as i can remember, some clothes featured the promotion of the toys to get kids to want more of the toys that were on their clothes...
cowboy hat Tonka truck riding horse child

I loved Tonka Trucks, G.I. Joes, Lincoln Logs, Cartoons and monsters... especially My Pet Monster, shown here. I donated this lovable creature to the family puppy called Macy to play with and I wish I hadn't.   
my pet monster with little child

And dressing up for Halloween... I liked pirates then and still do! 
booty bay pirate dull round sword

My brother and I in a house somewhere probably in California looking in different directions, as kids do sometimes. There is also something unidentifiable, to me, suspended in a dingy fish tank on the bottom right. Any guesses?
two children standing together

My Rancor, Robin pajamas, and Pinto my beloved horse...
child rancor play horse robin pajamas

I loved to be in pictures, this one features me with an oversized #2 pencil and a very 90's laser graphic backdrop... That pencil wouldn't look so big now that I'm much taller. And what would be really fun is if that was normal sized and I was about 13 inches tall. 
strange kid with giant pencil and lasers

Here is me in a Lacoste shirt, or maybe back then it was Izod. Either way I was a stylin' kid thanks to my parents, because I didn't buy this shirt for myself...
crocodile posing rolled up sleeves

My brother and I posing for a picture. I hope he doesn't mind me using the pictures he's in because I didn't get his permission. We wore T&C Surf shirts because I loved Thrilla Gorilla and his crew of anthropomorphic animal & human friends. I also loved their impossibly difficult Nintendo game. I wonder if I could beat it as an adult...
two kids one younger one older posing for pictures in surf-inspired clothing

When I was a little older wax lips were popular in my life, so were those fake cigarettes that were gum that blew out a few puffs of some white powder. People have had some awful ideas in life and making gum cigarettes that appealed to children has to be among the worst. Pictured below I was a wax-mouthed vampire...


Imagine you're an 8th grader in 1995 who has some features that are disproportionally larger than a head of that age would want on it, you have braces, you don't know where you fit in the world, you're lanky and taller than most of the other kids except Michael, Bahram, Malia, Chia-Ming, Amber, and maaaaaybe Arthur and you also feel out of place because no clothes seem to fit well and you want oversized clothes anyway because that's the style and really you are unsure of what that style even communicates about who you are and you bought a Mossimo hat on Catalina Island because you thought other people would think it was cool and you chose to wear it to a school dance along with an oversized flannel jacket with an oversized white shirt underneath and probably some below-the-knee shorts, and Puma low top shoes. Yep, that's this picture 👇🏻 Why this picture was taken, who took it, and how I got a duplicate of it is all unknown. Am I glad I have this particular record of my past. Yes because I get to share it with you. 
ODD TIMES IN THE WORLD SKIPPY FROM FAMILY TIES

Then I wore a tie and a dress shirt for something and sat with my brother while he also wore a dress shirt... maybe someone's graduation from school?
two kids on couch dressed fancily

After that, years and years later post high school, I got older and still wore clothing. This picture was of my family and I at my brother's graduation and I cut everyone else out of it... This picture features me in earrings, either 2 or 4. I do like the cut of that coat still. What a high, prominent collar.  
dapper dumpster nice coat looking smolderingly off to side

At some point after that last picture I went to Magic Mountain with friends and had this picture taken and made into a keychain. I was in a shirt that looks too small for me and a messenger bag from Express, back then called Structure. My friends are cut out of this picture but that lady in the back that I don't know isn't... As you can see iI am very thin and made questionable fashion and facial hair choices. 
I wish this picture would disappear from magic mountain

Then years later my hair grew out and I got highlights put in and little more facial hair, and started regularly wearing glasses that I should have been wearing daily since 3rd grade. Didn't everyone look like this at one point in they lives?
longer hair glasses highlights smiling

There was one time when I grew a beard for a year as a joke then shaved half of it off then posed for this picture and did a "tough guy" expression... a black shirt was not the best choice of clothing.
half of a beard

Years after that and years before today on a nondescript Saturday I grew a beard at the request of a then girlfriend, whom I assume is still a wonderful person, and decided to make a suit out of trash bags at my parents' house. It took me 10 hours to produce a hat, vest, jacket, pants and one fingerless glove...

"A moment of silence"
a moment of silence trash bag suit

"I'm here, let's settle down before things get too hot in here"
hold on I am here trash bag suit

Jamiroquai inspired picture even though I didn't listen to their music...
trash bag suit investigator

I call this picture ALL4ONE, cause it looks what I think that band feels when those smooth men write songs especially "I Swear" ...
hoo hoo all4one passion pose

"Yes, still do the hustle, then do the robot" in a trash bag suit
still do the hustle and also the robot trash bag man

Pushing up against a wall because that's what I feel would have been on a 90's R&B album cover and it may have conveyed solace or in deep thought about what to do about having to break up with the love of my life because it's just not working.
pushing up on that wall

Then the jacket comes off... for this pose..
the jacket comes off to reveal the vest and that I have arms

And later my trash bag version of early 20th century men's swimwear was produced... 

A James Bond inspired pose...
sexy handgun-in-hand dangerous

This was a "What-happened-in-this-direction-that-makes-me-so-stylishly?" pose...
what is this I will have to turn stylishly to see

"Surprise attack" of excellence...
attack of excellence

Later on a more sensuous note... the swimwear was removed.. sloooooowly...
the night continues with a little less to the imagination, what comes next is up to us

Fast forward to today and I'm still clothed and now choosing to produce the kind of clothes I believe in and excited to wear. Here is a more recent black and white picture...
black and white picture very classy

Lastly, which would have worked firstly, I want to thank my parents because they provided me a childhood in an incredibly stable atmosphere; I felt loved and supported, I felt safe and I was allowed to be a child. I had a house to live in, a swing set, a beautiful German Shepherd named Macy, I played with numerous 3.75" G.I. Joes in a muddy hole, I played with Toy Biz X-Men figures, had a My Pet Monster and a Cabbage Patch doll named Miles Pete. I had a home cooked meal every night. I was gifted with a wonderful education. I thought these things were normal for every child back then. As I got older I understood that wasn't at all true and I was just incredibly fortunate by chance and was privileged to have been raised by these two outstanding individuals, and sometimes my extraordinary grandmother. 

Me being an adult without children and way past the age my parents had me I can appreciate the immense effort it took to raise my brother and I because it's a full time job just taking care of myself. I thank my Dad for the effort it took to work so hard to support us and my Mom for being there and providing us an amazing amount of care and attention. I love you both very much and won't ever be able to fully realize the amount effort and energy and life you've spent teaching, working, cooking, supporting, caring for, hugging, loving and anything else I forgot to mention. I appreciate you both. As I write this I am overwhelmed with so many unidentifiable emotions that tears have made their appearance. I'm so very grateful and appreciative...
 
my family whom I am fortunate to have by chance

My grandmother and I. I don't know what I'm looking at or why I have that expression. In fact I can't even tell what that expression indicates...
me and Nonna the grandmother that brought me by way of my mother to California


Dear reader,

I am grateful for your presence in the world and I deeply appreciate taking the limited time you have on this planet to be here on my site! Your time is important to me and I'd like to acknowledge that I care. 

I'd also like to connect with you so please reach out and start a conversation. I will talk exhaustively about health. I believe people are everything and believe greatly in human connection and would love the opportunity to get to know you.

Written 06-16-2019
Updated 08-05-2020
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